Wednesday, April 16, 2014


Honestly, I'm not nervous because of the lecturer at the back. (bukan cakap besar, tapi hakikat la). I'm nervous with the unexpected behaviour of MY STUDENTS.. again , MY STUDENTS BEHAVIOUR that I worried too much.

They are unexpected. Well, it's the last class people. You can imagine how 'havoc' it is with 15 heroes and 7 girls. (even the girls have no difference with the boys, blurghhhh!!). And it's Year 4 kids. There are times they behave(but not soo behaving la), there are times they are shouting and running around the class(while the lesson is ON), there are times they fight each other, cursing and talking soo loud as if their friends are deaf.

Today - 16th April 2014.....

My supervisor came to observe my teaching and my students are behaving the worst. That's very bad for me. I feel demotivated. I feel like I've failed being a teacher. I feel like i'm the worst among every one. 

In my class - When I asked, replies that i get is "krik,krik"(no replies). My goodness! Until I use Bahasa Melayu, then they respond. But most of them today are not listening to me. I wonder because I'm using English most of the time and they were blinking, talking among themselves,laughing with their friends that I think nothing is funny, fighting and even CURSING!! Gosh!! and the girls. Oh, they were really testing my temper. Too busy giggling among them and when I came and ask questions they were like "haaa, emmm."(geleng kepala).. "errrr." (If you guys were at my place, what do you feel?? they are testing you...)

Suddenly, in the middle of the lesson, a girl cried and cursing his friend "babi". So, I went to her and said, "You cannot say that to your friend. It's not good, Tak boleh cakap macam tu, tak baik." She replied, "biaq pi la, perangai dia tu dah la macam babi!!". Allahuakbar. I'm clueless. I don't know what should I do. Scold them? Yes, but I think I should 'mengamuk' just now. My partner even said that I was too soft spoken just now. They are rude, so I should be more strict. 

Yes, I feel really really really really really totally truly BAD today. Being compared to my partner, she was very very good. Good activities, good participation from the pupils, good classroom control, good studetns. Her students even behave well then before (that's what she said). She was surprised too. What can I say, I'm so dissapointed with my students and i'm so dissapointed with myself. 

But I'm touched when Madam Ranjini is a very understanding person. She's my supervisor a.k.a my mother for this 1st practicum(that's what she said). She is very nice, her comments are very motivating, she gave wonderful advices and even appreciate my effort of teaching even the students are ignoring me like i'm talking to the wall. I truly like Madam Ranjini as my supervisor. I'm hoping to be her 'daughter' again for the next practicum. 

What's past is past. I should take this as a challenge. Maybe i'm not lucky that I got the worst class for my 1st practicum. Or maybe this is actually an advantage for me to be a 'tougher' teacher in future time. I've faced the reality, it's not easy to TEACH, and to HANDLE problematic students.

I'll try to be positive, and improve my errors. InsyaAllah. 

There you go,, the comments .....
( I don't mind sharing these comments even I know it's bad. InsyaAllah, one day I'll share my best comments. InsyaAllah)

Wishing all the best to all my practicum mates and all my friends and senior for their practicum =)



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